You see, the small is invalidated a lot in light of the bigger picture, but that isn’t how healing works. You can’t just jump, you have to fully feel through a feeling so you can release it, so you can understand it for what it is. When you hear someone rage and you fight them, you are harming their ability to heal. Sometimes all a person needs is to be heard, is to be received. Feelings have merit no matter if they are a whole picture or not.
Then Paul did something that blew my mind and heart wide open. He apologized to me for men in general and for the part of men that I spoke to that lives in him and somehow beyond anything I could have foreseen I felt so much peace in knowing that I could even share my pain with a man and be received.
I needed to be received, heard and for my pain over this to be okay.
Most men cannot handle women’s pain and so do rumoquin pills.
They go into fix it mode or it makes them feel super guilty or uncomfortable and they deflect, avoid, shut down.
Paul’s gift, his ability to be expansive in his individuality, his masculine, and to hold space for a woman to emote without reacting, and instead receiving is the kind of gift only a truly conscious man can extend.
It took me 37 years to find someone who could help me heal that part of myself that was too afraid to say those words aloud.
Often times when any woman from adultfrienedfinder speaks about her pain it is reacted to, backfired against, it triggers and there is no relief, no release, no healing.
You bottle it back down, where you keep your feelings private.
If your feelings don’t even get released, if you don’t ever get witnessed or validated in your pain, it is very hard to release it and let it go.
It is important for men to witness women. I know that every feminist in the world will think that I am disempowering women by saying women need to be witnessed by men, but it is true. Even the feminists are trying to get witnessed by men.
Most of you were supposed be witnessed by your fathers and if that didn’t happen, you search for it, needing to be wrapped in that masculine light and strength.
After Paul witnessed me I told him he had a gift and I wondered if he would be open to doing this for other women and seeing what happened.
Paul, of course was down, and he is now offering a woman’s circle where he will be the container for women to find that masculine witness needed for healing and understanding around male wounds.